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Western USA, Alaska and SE Asia

ฉันเกษียณแล้วล้ว I am retired!

How to contact me? If the "CONTACT" button below is active, that means
I'm bored and open to proposals. If the link doesn't work, I'm busy.


This is a dog-simple, ugly website with no apologies.


I've been creating websites for nearly 30 years. I've watched them crash and become obsolete, one after another, again and again and again, due to the never-ending evolution of HTML and a relentless barrage of new and "better" website-building languages. I learned over decades that you can design the coolest website on earth -- which WILL FAIL because some coder updates some obscure snippet of code which then conflicts with some older piece of code and the whole site goes down, which then requires hours or days to repair or rebuild. Homey say no mo'.

I'm currently roaming the eastern areas of Thailand, Southern Cambodia (Kampuchea), Western Laos (Lao), Hong Kong (oops--not since Communist China stole it), Singapore, Northern Malaysia, and East Burma, but sometimes travel to nearby regions including the Philippines, Vietnam (Saigon, not Hanoi), Maldives. I will not travel to China, Korea, Japan or France. I (really) don't like the people. Cameras include almost all Canon DSLRs made, and most Canon "L" lenses.

I am retired. I don't need the money. I'll shoot only subjects that intrigue me.

I often enjoy shooting sports/activities, beauty, candid portraits and street.

I work a lot in SE Asian slums and with orphans.

Most images were shot at either 27MP or 51MP.




Mostly Animals


Mostly Boats


Mostly Scooters 1


Mostly Scooters 2


Mostly Groups with Backgrounds


Mostly Soccer


Mostly Girls-1


Mostly Girls-2


Mostly Girls-3


Mostly Girls-4


Mostly Girls-5


Mostly Aircraft


Mostly Flowers and Vegetation


Mostly Flyboarding


Mostly Soccer Framed Portraits


Mostly Real Estate and Rental Images


Mostly Boys




Mostly Motorbikes and Vehicles




Mostly Scenery


Mostly Sports


Weird Dance Video


Phitsanulok Funeral บ้านบนเข




The links below (Alien Podcasts) are simple .MP4 video
files that vary in length from about 35 minutes to almost
2 hours each. They are discussions of UFO-encounter
, read aloud directly from the written documents.
On larger screens, you can follow along as the original
text is read. Evaluations of the relative reliability/believ-
ability of each claim is narrated. Do they even make
sense? Could they possibly be true? Is the witness even
remotely reliable or just another garden-variety woo-woo

These will play on most modern browsers, but some may
not play them. This is due to a bunch of childish in-fighting
among brands and coders who refuse to let each others'
browsers work with each others' code and I'm bloody sick
of it. That silly crap has been hamstringing various aspects
of the Internet for a generation now. Small minds will never
change. The "proper" and ideal solution is to encode four
(4) different video types for each file, so the browser can
choose which one it likes. That's utter non- sense and I
won't do it. Another solution is to upload each video to
You Tube and let You tube parse out the appropriate

But years ago I was the Trademark owner on a valuable
brand, when people started creating You tube channels
that used exactly my Trademarked name. You tube
steadfastly and resolutely refused to protect my legally
Trademarked brand. We tried everything, up to the point
of suing You tube, at an initial cash outlay of $125,000
just to start the suit. Still, You tube refused to honor my
Trademark. I eventually abandon the Trademark. That
was the end of any and all interaction with You tube,
forever. The videos below may or may not play for you.
They play well on every browser "I" have installed.
I hope
they play on yours, but if they don't, you can blame the
constant, ludicrous, childish in-fighting among
programmers for this and a billion other similar stupid
and counter-productive roadblocks.




These will open a NEW TAB and AUTOPLAY
when clicked with SOUND ON. Allow a few
seconds to preload.



The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 1


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 2


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 3


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 4


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 5


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 6


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 7


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 8


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 9


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 10


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 11


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 12


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 14


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 15


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 16


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 17


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 18


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 19


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 20


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 21


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 22


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 23


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 24


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 25


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 26


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 27


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 28


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 29


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 30


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 31


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 32


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 33


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 34


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 35


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 36


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 37


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 38


The Alien Chronicles (podcast video) 39





Amazon eBooks


Available Light


Planet Farmers (Vol. 1)


Sands of Sedona


Aliens and Ghosts


Jungle Mists


Horse Tales




Excerpted from "Aliens and Ghosts":


Is there mythology suggesting the existence of God? Reams and reams and mountains and continents and centuries of it, yes. But there are reams and reams and mountains of mythology suggesting the existence of countless other deities. They are legion. Why does a Christian notion of “God” exist, but all the others don’t? Absurd. Naïve. Crazy.

But there’s evidence for the existence of some significantly higher being who was mucking around about 2000 years ago and performed some magic tricks to Amaze the Natives. He might have done that to convince folks to believe in him, because he didn’t have the time or inclination to stick around forever and tutor us, and he wanted his basic philosophies (thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not do this and that) to live on, because he figured that was the only shot mankind had of coalescing any amount of intelligence into a real, working society that was going to evolve and do cool and logical things in the future instead of the stupid Pagan shit it was doing up to then. Evidence for the existence of this being is not evidence for life after death, even though the being wanted you to think that was going to be the case. It’s called good salesmanship. Maybe that well-meaning alien was just a good salesman.

[Robert] Monroe wondered about God too. In the beginning he dismissed Him. Toward the end he was thinking about whether or not there was any point at all to anything, and the only thing he could come up with was that souls collected experiences and in the end, after millions of lifetimes in various universes and dimensions, deposited them into one consciousness, which stored and analyzed them all, and didn’t “do” any particular thing with all that data – that entity just was. And perhaps is. And that was God. Monroe figured maybe that was the unintended purpose to all of this – all life on earth, on other planets, in other galaxies, other universes, other dimensions. No one “planned” for us to all go out and do stuff and then get debriefed after a google billion years. I think he thought that was, maybe, what just inadvertently happened, and that one consciousness that accepted and became all of everything forever, was God.

Sort of makes sense. Monroe claimed he tried to go there once to offload all his experiences and merge with something that might have been God but was told he was about a billion billion godzillion google experiences short, and to go get some more, and come back when he was worth listening to.

People talk about God doing this and that, God being happy or angry, God steering us this way or that, working in mysterious ways to guide our lives. Utter trash.

If you administer anything, ever, you influence it. That’s demonstrable in science any way you want to test it. Just observing an experiment can be proven again and again to influence the experiment. If you administer something, you taint it. You cause it to be in some way, one way or another, different from what it might have been if you didn’t exist. Let’s say you create a robot, and you actually give it life. And you love that sucker to death. And you want to give it the ultimate gift. What’s the one thing in all of creation you could give it? There is only one thing. You can give it absolute and utter free will. Anything short of that is a slap in the face, an insult, because you are telling it it can’t “be”. You’re saying it can only be something you want it to be, and for it to not and never be itself, whatever that is, is to not fully be. The best gift you can give anything is to go away, which is the only way that entity can experience true, total freedom, and without true, total freedom, you cannot possibly ever realize your full potential. If God exists, that’s the one thing he wants. He wants you to be you.

Hold a bird in your hand; what does it want? To fly away. Hold it in your hand long enough and it will resent you. It will hate you. It’s inevitable. But let it fly, and maybe it will come back willingly someday. Did you love the bird, wholly and unconditionally forever and ever? Then why do you want to imprison it and bend it to your will? You want the bird to fly free and become whatever it can become. That’s altruism. That is true love. Anything short of that is impure, and believers insist God is pure. So which is it, believers? If God is here messing with us, then we are God’s prisoners. But if God is somewhere but not here, then we are God’s free children. Which do you think a perfect God wants for us? Does he want to be a jailor, or an enabler? Is he a pesterer, or a Creator? If he’s a Creator, he ain’t here, on earth, being petty and anal, keeping score and taking names. That’s a dictator. I think, rather, He’s just waiting. He did one perfect thing: create. He created our free will. To do more than that would be automatically and intrinsically and inherently imperfect.

If there is a God, and he loves us as the bible says he does, then he is pure. He is pure white. And if he is pure, he has no thought of controlling or influencing or directing any soul. That means he does not interfere. He does not administer. He does not hang around tweaking this and influencing that. That would be the opposite of true love. That would be the devil.

God is not here. God is not watching. He is not controlling or pulling strings. If God exists, God merely waits. He waits for us and all other souls in all of infinity – yes aliens too -- to use the ultimate gift which he has given them – existence – and then to accept those souls back if and when they return. If there is a God, I’m convinced that’s what He is. Religions are beyond nonsense. When God is informed of them, as when souls return to him and give him their experiences, he says wow – religion – that’s interesting. Next please.

I am beginning to believe that sooner or later we’ll develop instruments which will measure the energies of disembodied souls, if they exist. I don’t think any so-called “ghost hunter” TV show has even scratched the surface of real, working instrumentation. I think it doesn’t exist yet – just smoke and mirrors to make money for greedy, shameless producers. But maybe someday it will. --If disembodied souls exist, that is.

Monroe left instructions regarding how to produce an out of body experience (OOBE). I tried it off and on for years but my heart of hearts didn’t really want it to happen so of course it never did. “Something” happened once. Don’t know what it was. It was a result of fiddling with Monroe’s techniques. Scared me badly enough that I never tried it again, and Monroe did swear that fear was our biggest obstacle to experiencing that state. His began accidentally, or he probably never would have overcome the fear to initiate them consciously. I doubt I’ll ever get there, although some might say that lying near death under a wreck for about a zillion hours might have been a very good place to try it.

I’ve never seen a ghost. But I heard something twice that was not produced by any living entity. We were playing hide and seek. I was 10. I looked in the dark garage for the “it” kid. I walked in and asked if the “it” was in there – it was in the rules – if you were “it”, you had to answer. Then I heard a clear, loud, old man’s voice, groaning in pain and agony. I wasn’t in the least scared because I knew it was my grandfather, who was famous for such trickery. It was crystal clear, resonant, and came from a specific spot in the dark garage. It wasn’t an electronic voice. It boomed clearly. I laughed and said, “Grandpa, I know that’s you.” I flicked the light on. And where the voice had come from was a pile of crap taller than me that no one could have climbed through or over, and I was the only living soul in the garage. I turned on my heels and walked into the house, and there was grandpa and every other male, present and accounted for, fully engaged in something on TV and busily munching snacks. I never went into that garage again after dark. I wonder what it would be like to go back, a long lifetime later.

I had the notion that our house was haunted. Not uncommon for many ten year olds. One night, in the hall outside my room, there erupted a howling/screech that rose in pitch and volume until it was wall-shaking. It woke me up from a sound sleep, and I was stunned. Louder than any human could be. I knew that in three seconds flat my father would erupt from his bedroom across the hall to confront whatever the fark had invaded our home. But he never even woke up.

We were digging under the foundation in that area of the house shortly after that and uncovered a hole that would have been large enough for me to wriggle through, that continued down into the earth as far as any light could penetrate. We covered it in and sealed it up.

About that same time in that same house I was outside farting around in the yard. It was raining. But only on one half of the house. The other side remained perfectly dry and this continued for about 20 minutes. Then that rain stopped. I’ve actually seen that phenomenon a few times and it isn’t paranormal (usually), it’s just a natural condition of a sharp delineation on the edge of a low rain cloud, but it adds a cool tidbit to the story. Then, a few hours later when the skies were clear and bright, gravel began landing on the roof and bouncing off. It bounced everywhere, bounced into and out of my hair. It hadn’t come from a height from which it could have attained terminal velocity – maybe it had fallen from thirty feet. But there was nothing up there. I looked and looked. It just gently rained down for a long time. I picked some of it up out of the grass – it was very clean gravel of the type you would use to gravel a driveway and it was dry. It continued to fall continuously for about 20 more minutes and had I gone around and collected it, it probably would have filled a fifty gallon drum – maybe 400-600 pounds total. Lots and lots of gravel.

Ghosts? My kid has seen two so-called “shadow people”. I believe he saw them. Did he hallucinate? Based on the tens of thousands of reports from around the world of the exact same phenomenon, I say no. Whatever he saw was a real phenomenon. Ghosts? I can’t believe that. There’s hard, physical evidence for aliens. But not for ghosts. Maybe quantum physics will someday answer it. Maybe they are just shadows of someone who passed there long before, or who will pass there in the future, echoed there by some weird quirk of inter-dimensional energies – which apparently do exist, according to hard science, as hard as that is to swallow, like mirages. The main character in Guardians of the Galaxy had a cool fictional device which showed shadows of past events. Maybe someday that will be a real device.

EVPs? I’ve tried. All I get is dead silence, pun intended.

Ouija boards. I don’t know what energy is involved, but some energy is involved and it isn’t wholesome. Maybe they (the devices) tap into the dark side of our subconscious for some reason. But they’re exclusively and completely bad news after a short beginning of delight. Don’t go there. Yes, yes, you and I both know you will go there, but after you have, remember that I told you not to, then ask yourself why you did.

Time travel? We know for sure we can go forward. Already been done, though only for fractions of a millisecond. Aliens say we can go backward too. That boggles the mind and pretty-well ruins every notion I have about life and reality, and if I’m that bloody off-base about the reality of physics and space and time, then maybe I’m that wrong about God too. I’m very, very open to being wrong. In this one instance at least, about God, I long to be wrong. Please show me I’m stupid. As the girls say in Cambodia when old men hit on young girls and it’s a known that the young girls are going to take them for every Goddamned cent they have, “Farangs want to be stupid.” And I want to be proven stupid about God. Imagine my chagrin if he’s real. But he’s not.

Countless reports – maybe the majority, going back hundreds of years – describe aliens as wearing skin-tight suits, usually silver. Anti-radiation suits? In modern times they’re described as “diver’s suits”. I try and try to come up with an explanation for this. I mean, maybe there’s a perfectly simple explanation if aliens are real. Maybe they all buy from the same supplier. Maybe skin-tight is somehow the most efficient at warding off stray radiation. Who knows. But I approach it from the angle of aliens not being real. If aliens aren’t real at all, why do thousands of people say they’re wearing metallic, usually silvery, skin-tight suits? What would be the point of saying that? To sound like other reports and thereby give your claim more credibility? Yes, very possibly. But the skin-tight reports come from sheep herders who’ve never read a newspaper, let alone a book, and they often tell the local village head that those crazy Americans were out there pestering the sheep – not any story about “aliens”, which they’ve never heard of. And the skin-tight reports come from observers thousands of years ago, before electricity and TV and newspapers and books and magazines, and they come from folks separated by oceans before sailing ships united them – so how did one come to copy the story of another? They traded carrier pigeons between central Africa and Greenland? That I can’t figure this out doesn’t mean aliens are real. It’s just a curious trend in the reports.

Is that all they wear? No. Some are naked (relatively few), and some, oddly, are reported wearing regular earthly street clothes. In an attempt to pass among human? It does seem as though, if a borderline personality was bent on making up a story, and s/he went to all the trouble of imagining a bizarre, colorful ship with interesting aliens doing amazing stuff, wouldn’t he or she also get creative about their attire? I would!

Some reports (quite a few) suggest the aliens are all wearing matching “uniforms”. Most commonly reported are various types of one-piece jumpsuits, usually with high collars. This lends credence to my personal notion that the critters are trying to protect themselves from stray radiation. Just a hunch.

But that hunch is slightly bolstered by the reports that claim the aliens made them drink some kind of goo, either disgusting or somewhat palatable, after their visit is concluded. Some kind of grape flavored potassium iodide slurry to protect their thyroids? Curiously, virtually everybody reported that they drank the crap without any question or hesitation. Seriously? I’d want a chemical analysis done first, which is maybe why I haven’t been abducted (I’m too much trouble).

Some people say the aliens gave them goo to drink before taking them on a spaceship ride, saying it would help them deal with the many “forces” of their kind of space travel. Who the hell can say anything about that?

Very few people report that they were given solid food by the aliens, but if they were, it was generally in the form of some kind of pellet or capsule or pill, and that they remained “full” for a very long time – maybe days. Descriptions of bland pancake-like foods have come up repeatedly. My favorite.

A very significant number of people report being “healed” by aliens. In some cases the reports are that aliens simply landed, came to a house, came inside, spent some time healing someone from some surely fatal condition, and then just went away. I struggle with these reports. Many more cases report that the witnesses went aboard the alien ship – whether willingly, or after having been sucked up in a tube of light or some such, and the aliens messed around with them for awhile (probing, probing), and then said, ok, time to go, and, oh, by the way, we cured your lung cancer or kidney disease or whatever. Usually the people didn’t even know they were sick, yet, so they say they were somewhat surprised, and probably grateful, so in a mild daze they were booted off the ship into a field somewhere and left trying to assimilate the whole thing.

Quite a few reports include seeing “logos” on alien “uniforms”. Perhaps the most common theme is the “flying snake”. That just makes me shudder. Does that mean they come from a world where flying effing snakes rule? Then AH AIN’T GOIN’ THAR. Or does it mean….what? Like America reveres the Bald Eagle (a scavenger)? Or maybe the flying serpent motif represents … a popular fictional character in their literature or TV, like Hello Kitty? I’ve seen no reports where people have asked them what that snake thing is, but I intend to.

Shoes are quite often reported as having very thick soles. Theories, anyone? I don’t have any good ideas. And quite a few reports claim that the aliens float a few inches above the ground (or a few meters) as they move around. Could those thick soles contain tiny anti-gravity units?

Probably around half the reports describe wide belts, or at least belts, with boxes or contraptions mounted about where the buckles would be – some say higher up, mid-chest. And very often it is from those boxes that various rays, beams or lights emit to knock witnesses down, or out, or both, for varying periods of time – often just long enough to carry them inside and get a bunch of probing done. Then two hours later they wake up in a field somewhere ten (or 1400) miles away, groggy and dazed with their clothes on backwards like some cheap date who drank too much and didn’t care. A little three-fingered hand juts out from a porthole in the saucer and twenty bucks drops out. No, not that last part. How would the aliens know the proper currency, anyhow?

And very curiously, there are more than a few reports of aliens landing, usually aboard some crappy-looking tiny craft, made from a kit featured in the back of Popular Science, and the alien asks where he is. The witness says, Finland. Alien says thanks. And he flies away. Seriously, they don’t have a bloody GPS? Why are there so many reports of this? If I was going to make up a report it sure as hell wouldn’t be that.

And what about all that probing, anyway? What the heck do they do to us? Interestingly, the accounts of being probed and/or examined are strikingly similar. Does this mean most aliens are after the same kinds of data? Or does this mean people are simply making this stuff up? One critical aspect of the research seems to be the fact that so many reports come from people who almost (almost) certainly never read a single thing about aliens. Ever. Not a magazine article, not a newspaper story. Some have never seen TV or a movie. We’re talking very remote and isolated people. Still, there’s the chance that someone, somewhere, got wind of the phenomenon and are simply parroting what they may have even subconsciously absorbed. I think that is probably not the case in many instances, but there is no way to say for sure. The fact that so many people around the world across the centuries are and have reported the same types of experiences constitutes about 5 or 10% of my tendency to believe the whole phenomenon. So what percentage of belief have I reached in all of my lifelong research? I’m at about 400%. There. Is. No. question. If half of what I believe was to be proven false, I’d still have enough to believe 200%

How big are aliens? In the “popular” manufactured folklore crap that is shown in movies and on TV, they all tend to be about 4 to 4.5 feet tall, usually skinny, larger than normal heads, grayish in color, big, wraparound eyes, longer than normal arms, etc. etc., and very out of shape, yada yada. Is that the norm for what people have reported around the world? Not really, no. It seems to be just one of many types that are reported. Note how many times I say reported because I am not saying the reports are true. I’m only reporting the trends in the reports.

The size and shape of aliens runs the gamut. The largest sizes I’ve seen reports on were about 60 feet tall, mostly humanoid-looking. There are several of these reports, sometimes witnessed by 70 to 80 people at a time. Mass hallucination? Maybe – except for the footprints left behind. Did all those people run out there with shovels and dig those big prints? Maybe. Hoaxes perpetrated by hundreds of people collectively? Perhaps – but it’s hard to get that many people to “go in on” a hoax. Certainly not impossible though. Personally, I go for the simplest explanation – something mistaken. But I cannot explain the very detailed accounts of how the things walked, moved, looked back at the observers, etc. Still….I might believe in Bigfoot before I thought too much about 60 foot tall aliens.

On the other end of the spectrum, are the 1 inchers.

Huh? Did I say one-inchers? Yes, yes I did. They’re about as much of a stretch for me as the 60 footers.

The thing is, the laws of physics must come into play at some point. Many living things have a tendency – not a certainty – to occupy as much space as is given to them and as is practical and as gravity allows, and as food and resources allow. Planets larger than earth tend to have more gravity – smaller planets have less. Gravity is in part a function or by-product of mass. So, let’s say a humanoid-type critter started evolving on a small planet with low gravity. Its bones could be less dense because it didn’t need to be as strong as an earth-based critter, because it wouldn’t weigh as much. Does that mean it could possibly evolve to be taller than people on earth? Note the question mark – humans have a bad, bad habit of saying, THIS GUY SAID THIS, or THAT, when all he really did was ask a question, so please be cognizant of the question marks. But if that’s the case, you might end up with a tiny planet that had only 127 residents because they’re all so damned big. Extrapolate things out. Some dinosaurs were huge, and that meant they were unwieldy in earth’s gravity. It’s hard to imagine that any dinosaurs could have evolved to be bigger than what we’ve found in the form of fossils. So what kind of environment might produce 60 foot tall humanoids? A small world, with limited resources? Or a huge world, with bone-crushing gravity – much greater than earth’s – but with lots of food and resources? We’ve already seen that some dinosaurs seem to have suffered due to their size. It’s hard to imagine an environment where a 60 foot tall humanoid could thrive. –Unless they weren’t from this physical universe at all, but were inter dimensional. Who can even hazard a guess as to the physics of a world – if they have worlds – in another dimension, and make no mistake, quantum physicists tell us more and more that other dimensions are not only possible, but required for this (our) universe to exist at all. If 60 foot tall humanoids exist, I cannot even begin to dream of an environment that would support them. Large planets, or small? Small and dense? Oh the head hurts.

So what’s with the one inchers? Malaysia, for instance, seems to be rife with 1-5 inch little human sightings and reports. Probably 80-90% of these reports come only from Malaysia. Do aliens respect political boundaries? Highly unlikely. I personally file these in the bullshit folder. But the reports are many and often include many witnesses, including whole classes of students and multiple teachers. Still, it sounds mostly like a local BS belief system to me. But the sightings of very small people are only 80-90% contained in Malaysia. That means others are reported all over the world, and some seem quite credible. How can you explain those? You can’t, and I don’t try. And what kind of world might support a race of 2 inch tall humans? Maybe a very small world. A basketball? But if that’s the case, our gravity here should be crushing to them, yet in every single report that comes to mind there are zero mentions of little bitty people crawling around on the ground as though they weigh five times their normal weight. In fact, they seem quite nimble and spry. So, WTH. Maybe a very large world with unimaginable gravity could naturally host tiny humanoids. In that case, when they came here to visit, they ought to only weigh a fraction of what they do back home and in that case, they ought to be leaping tall buildings in a single bound. Guess what? Some reports describe exactly that. But most reports of tiny people have them walking around and appearing to weigh just about what they should, given their apparent mass. Could an earth-size world, with earth-like gravity, foster a race of tiny people? If so, why are normal earthlings so damned big? A species will appear and grow and evolve at the mercy of its environment. Always.

It seems only about 40% of reports describe the “typical” gray types. You have a small sprinkling of the 60 footers, a whole lot of 10 to 12 footers, even more 5.5 to 6.5 footers, a slew of “gray” type sizes, like 3.5 to 5 footers, and not nearly as many 2-3 footers, but still a significant number. As I said, the 1-5 inchers are mainly reported in Malaysia and that just doesn’t compute for me so I don’t think about them a great deal, but maybe we should. One could be in your pocket or your panties at this very moment!

The reports have them coming in all colors. All colors indeed. Grayish is maybe the most common, but jet black and stark white and blue, green, and every color of the rainbow and colors that people can’t find names for are included. Interestingly, quite a large number are reported to be glowing, either a little, or a lot. What kind of world would produce bioluminescent beings? Well, they exist right here on earth. Where? In really dark places. Think about planets far from their suns.

And what about the big bug eyes? Does that also mean they evolved on a planet with far less light than earth? And aliens with tiny eyes (there are some reports) come from planets close to their suns? Eyes are usually reported to be oversized, and to one degree or another, wrap-around. But then again, some are reported with very small pig-eyes, and quite a few are reported with no eyes at all. Enough to make me shiver are reported with only one eye (cycloptic). It seems counter-intuitive that nature (natural selection) would produce beings with only one eye, unless by some mechanism they could re-grow that one eye very quickly indeed when it got accidentally poked out with a tentacle or a stick. A few folks say the critters had many eyes. In a few cases they reportedly told witnesses that they were so, so ugly that out of courtesy and respect for humans’ sensibilities, they would never, ever reveal their true appearance, but would keep the shields of their helmets down, or whatever. Thanks for that!

I had a lucid dream decades ago. Very odd. I’ve experienced maybe three of them in my lifetime. In this dream I was in a small craft of some type – someone else driving. Flying, actually. We covered some ground, thirty miles maybe, or sixty, and landed on a gently sloping hillside in an open, grassy area. Big trees were a few hundred yards away along the perimeter. There were a number of other souls hanging around – no idea if they were human or otherwise. And there were, scattered about, some “stands”, like you might find at a swap meet. Displays. Something like that. I could walk where I chose, but someone suggested I go take a look in a small lean-to type structure. I did, and inside I saw a little cage, like an open rabbit hutch. No door. And on a small shelf protruding out from this habitat sat a small creature, about the size of a chicken. It was hideous beyond my ability to describe. It appeared to be turned inside out. I saw guts and organs and blood and mucus and I absolutely recoiled. I tried to bolt but something gently blocked my escape. This was nightmare stuff, and I remember thinking, oh, yeah, ok, this is a nightmare. Thanks a lot. Wake up wake up wake up – but I couldn’t.

But this little critter emanated an aura … that was so sweet and loving and caring and intelligent and compassionate … that I was drawn to it. I walked to it, and we communicated somehow, and in the space of ten or fifteen seconds I was completely and totally platonically in love with this entity. I picked it up and held it and loved it and comforted it. It wasn’t in any distress – I was seeing it in its natural state. That’s simply what and how it was. It was one of the most moving experiences of my life. I was told, ok, it’s time to go now, and I so reluctantly left that little thing. I would have stayed there and taken care of it and enjoyed its company and conversation for all of time. But I was gently pulled away and delivered back into my bed and I immediately woke up desperately missing that soul. I’ve thought about it daily for all these decades and I still want to meet it again. I tell this story because even though it was probably just a crappy old normal dream, it illustrates a point: never judge a book by its cover. If you encounter something that makes you want to lapse into shock because it’s so hideous, well, maybe it really will bite your head off and drink the blood from your spouting arteries, or … maybe it will be the most lovely living thing you have ever encountered or ever dreamed of encountering. Give stuff a chance. But remember, too, that there are plenty of reports of regular looking and acting aliens really, really harming people. How can you be prepared? I have absolutely no clue. Try listening to your instincts.

Many eye colors are reported, but glowing (yes glowing) red are fairly common after black, and too many reports describe eyes from which beams emanate – usually red. Is that like the glow from an animal’s eyes caught in car headlights? No. People go to great lengths to say that is exactly not what they saw. The eyes were actually producing and emanating a light, as though from a source, not a reflection, and they say they can see areas on the ground or on objects which are brightened and illuminated by the light from those eyes. Sounds otherworldly? Yes, well, of course we are talking about Other. Worlds. But it occurs to me that for a race even a thousand years ahead of ours it wouldn’t be much of a feat to surgically install devices into the eyes which could produce a light source on cue. That would save greatly on flashlight batteries and stubbed toes on the way to the toilet at night. I can see humans with that capability in a measly one hundred years. We’re almost there now. So things that sound beyond fantastical need a moment of reflection and deliberation before being dismissed as madness.

Noses are usually tiny or non-existent – maybe nothing at all, or maybe a couple of holes, but a fair number of reports claim they had something like small elephant trunks.

Ears are often non-existent or very small. But sometimes huge, and sometimes pointy. Too many Star Trek episodes under the belt?

Mouths are very, very often just slits, like eating and talking were abandon long ago.

Curiously, almost no one talks about their genitals or lack thereof. It’s often reported that no sexual organs are seen on aliens who don’t appear to wear clothing. Fools say that means the story is made up – because, after all, how could something defecate or urinate? Earth sharks peepee through their skin, which is one reason they don’t smell so pretty. If these were fantasy-driven hallucinations or concoctions, I think Freud’s view that nearly everything traces back to sex, would rule, and the reports would be overflowing with sexual connotation and innuendo and outright descriptions of anything and everything weird. But they’re not. That stuff is very conspicuously absent. Does that lend credibility to the YES argument? Maybe. A small, tiny amount.

Fingers number from two to about seven; usually four or five, but three is relatively common too. Crab-like claws are fairly often reported. Webbing between the digits are very commonly reported. Does that suggest evolution, not so long ago, from a liquid environment? Arms can be long or short, but longer than human is most prevalent. Sometimes they’re described as being almost boneless, like hot dogs.

Some aliens – quite a few – are reported as looking reptilian, even frog-like. Curiously, many reports of aliens who seem to care about us most deeply, involved encounters with these types. That doesn’t compute for me. Wouldn’t we have been considered meat, at some point in their evolution? Many reptilian types are reported as huge – seven to nine feet tall. Few are said to be small.

A not insignificant number seem to be completely covered by hair – course, or fine, beautiful or revolting. Some smell; most don’t. Tall, strong, cat-like critters are reported often enough to make me wonder. That was a positive revelation for my cat because he suddenly started getting much more and much better food, and he became even more demanding about a variety of things and perks.

Curiously, no reports have these beings looking like beavers, or snakes, or seals or guppies, and that makes me wonder. A lot. If all this stuff, all these sightings and reports, are the results of overactive imaginations, fantasies, mental illnesses, ploys to get attention, then why aren’t any reported as looking like Ed Sullivan or Elvis or Peter Pan or Yogi the Bear or Daffy Duck or giant walking penises or vaginas or Jane Fonda (same same), or whatever. Why? I should say, why not? Actually, a few are reported as being gorgeous, hot, sexy babes, but those aren’t even worth the sentence I just wasted to mention them. Or are they?

Do aliens speak English? What about other languages? It’s widely reported that about a quarter or less of all aliens can speak any language that is native to the witnesses. A curious note is that when those aliens speak, using their mouths and vocal cords, their pronunciation of words tends to be exactly, precisely correct, so much so that it can be a bit difficult to understand them until one realizes that they are speaking perfectly, because, of course, as lazy native speakers we speak our languages anything but perfectly. Countless cases describe verbal communications in which the aliens spoke the “ancient” dialects of the lands they were found visiting. For instance, an alien speaking English to a Brit might sound more like Shakespeare. Does that mean that when the alien studied English back on the home world, he or she was learning it as it was spoken the last time their people visited, which might be hundreds or thousands of years prior?

In many, many cases the aliens can’t speak a word of any language but try to communicate in their own native language – which might be something like bird chirps or grunts or hissing or sounds we’ve never even heard before and can’t describe. Many cases report that they are approached by an alien or aliens who try to communicate in this way, and the witnesses are barely even aware that the aliens are trying to talk to them until they think about it later. Maybe the alien(s) will then switch to trying hand signals, which seem to be seldom universal. In most of these cases, if the witnesses haven’t bolted in horror, the aliens just turn and walk away, or, in some cases, show actual human frustration before turning and walking away. Indeed, as I live and travel throughout the world, I realize more and more how annoying it is to try to communicate in different languages among other earth-based cultures. It can be really maddening, apparently even for an alien.

In some cases, when it’s clear the communication isn’t working, the aliens will produce a contraption of some sort, like a little box or something, and maybe mess with it a bit, tuning, tweaking, and then, like Mars Attacks, suddenly all is understood and perfect communication is possible. I guess those aliens haven’t learned ESP.

There are a couple of handfuls of cases where the aliens have approached humans who had with them maybe horses or goats or cows, and the aliens will seem to salute the humans with a well practiced, “Hello and good day, and how are you today?” Maybe the aliens smile as well. Obviously scripted. The people usually just stand there, frozen in terror. The aliens might go down a line of people repeating this same line, and when they get to the animals they keep right on repeating it. Of course the animals just keep on chewing, which seems to perplex the aliens. Maybe on some other worlds the animals are much smarter.

In the majority of cases, however, the aliens seem to use telepathy. When I was a kid I was intrigued by the notion of telepathy. I horsed around with friends trying all sorts of experiments, none of which worked. But in adult life it was proven to me over and over and over again, indisputably, that ESP works. It is as tangible as biting into an apple or feeling the rain on your face in a summer storm. ESP is. It is as real as anything. It is as real as speech. That, ladies and germs, is an absolute fact. The recipients of ESP communication usually report that the aliens will just start talking to them, clear as a bell, and it might be some time before they realize that the aliens never even opened their little alien slits. One perplexing tidbit that is extremely commonly reported is that people claim the aliens will answer their questions before they are aware of even fully formulating their questions inside their own minds. This tells me that we are bloody transparent to some aliens – maybe the majority. And that…is damned disconcerting. Are monkeys that transparent to us? If you’ve studied them closely, yes, they absolutely are.

There are quite a few reports where supposed witnesses claim (claim) that the aliens will cause to appear in front of them a kind of signboard, which might be a holographic projection. Maybe it looks like a biggish computer screen. And all communications, both ways, will be written and read scrolling across that screen.

In the case of telepathy, how on earth could that work? How can ideas and messages be communicated and transferred from one brain to another? It’s actually very simple. If you show a picture of a woman strapped to the railroad tracks and a train is coming, how would that be interpreted by someone else? It would be interpreted as a woman strapped to the railroad tracks with a train coming and it would impart the notion that there was danger to the woman and that something must be done. That’s all there is to it. Words aren’t needed.  A picture is worth a thousand words. Telepathically transmit an image of a flying saucer streaking through space and landing on an alien landscape; what’s the message the other person receives? They receive the message that a spaceship has streaked through space and landed on an alien landscape. It’s dog simple.

A too-common trait of aliens seems to be that they emerge from, and re-enter their conveyances without even going through any kind of traditional doorway. One second there are no aliens next to a saucer or ship, and the very next instant there they are. One instant the aliens are walking around picking up bits of sticks and rocks and squirrel-poo, and putting them into collection receptacles, and the very next instant there are no aliens to be seen at all, and one second later the ship either takes off at high speed, or just flat winks out.

An even more common scenario is that the aliens go in or out inside of, or on, a beam of very solid looking light. We know that light has mass. That was the last thing my grandfather said to me before his death. He came to my room on a visit to our home, and knelt down before me in my bedroom, and took my hands, and looked me in the eyes until I “got” that he was about to say something he considered quite important, and he said, bluntly, “Scotty, light has mass. You should remember that. Light has mass. Don’t forget it.” Days later he was dead. He was an engineer for Grand Coulee Dam in Washington state, and a highly respected Ham radio operator with a handful of inventions under his belt, but all simple devices and he had no training in advanced physics or, indeed, physics at all. I don’t know where he got that information, which turned out decades later to be true, but he felt it was the one most important morsel he could impart to me before he left the earth. Now I find it quite interesting that so, so many reports of aliens include the use of some type of light which clearly has a dense mass which can be manipulated. Quite intriguing indeed.

As noted before, some aliens land the ship and manually drop down a metal ladder, then turn around and carefully climb down it backwards. Chances are those aliens aren’t a lot more technologically advanced that we are. That makes me wonder about their level of spiritual and philosophical and psychological advancement, because if they’re not much advanced from us, God help us.

Can aliens breath our atmosphere? It seems that maybe 40% can. The rest compensate by using devices ranging from full-blown pressurized-appearing suits (some of which are “ribbed” like the old Michelin Man TV ads, to just rudimentary “misting” devices and not even helmets. Some aliens carry tanks on their backs; some don’t. Many supposed abductees report that it’s quite difficult to breathe on board the alien ships, to the point that they begin to feel panicky. Maybe they are breathing straight alien atmosphere, or maybe the aliens have altered the atmosphere so that both races can breathe without special equipment, although not entirely comfortably.

What about bases under the sea, or inside active volcanoes, or inside mountains, underground? Plenty of reports, and the reports run the gamut. But I struggle with those. They just don’t have the right “ring” to them for me. But 50 years ago, the very notion of aliens at all, in any context, didn’t have the right ring for me either – even 15 years ago I wasn’t “there” there. But now I am. Maybe in a hundred years I’ll uncover enough stuff about underground bases to believe that too, but, honestly, I think I’d have to see one. Maybe I should believe in a lot more stuff because, after all, in for a penny, in for a pound. But I just won’t do leaps of faith.

What about all the reports that claim they saw an alien “ship” of some sort, and they were looking straight at it, and it Just. Winked. Out? Not like it “went” somewhere ultra-quickly, but more like it simply ceased to exist in that place. Sometimes witnesses will go to great lengths to make sure people understand that they don’t believe the ship moved away. Rather, they emphatically insist, it ceased to exist there, “like turning off a light”.

When I was a kid we watched those objects in the night sky which appeared to be capable of covering hundreds or thousands of miles in split seconds. In those cases we could in fact see that they weren’t disappearing and reappearing but were actually traveling from one place to another, but almost, almost more quickly than the eye could see.

I have a couple of possible explanations. The most probable one, to me, is that the ships did, in fact, “go away”, but they did it more quickly than the human eye can perceive. I used to ride rustler patrol for a huge ranch, and I shot a lot of cars driven by cattle rustlers. I used a .338 Remington Magnum rifle, which is not small and not big. It’s just a rifle. The rounds travel at about 2900 feet per second, or, say, half a mile per second. That’s far slower than most assault rifles. In any case, the bullet goes from zero to warp speed in the space of about 30 inches inside the chamber and the barrel. It’s nothing but compressed gas that propels any bullet. Nothing magical or other-worldly. Just high-pressure air, really. Yet if you are staring at the end of the muzzle from a 90-degree angle when that bullet leaves the gun, you will not see that bullet. You simply won’t. It’s impossible. It’s even hard to catch on an extremely high-speed camera. Now, you can’t see the bullet itself before it starts moving, because it’s inside the chamber. But if the chamber was made of something transparent you could see the bullet just fine. You could look right at it, stare at it, concentrate on it, and then let someone fire the cartridge, and that bullet, for you, from your perspective, for all intents and purposes, would cease to exist, there. No living entity could ever see that bullet begin to move and then accelerate away. Of course it didn’t cease to exist there. It did start moving, and gain speed, and finally fly away, but it all just happened far more quickly than you could process. I suffered two detached retinas as a kid due to a baseball batter hitting a line drive. I never saw that sucker coming either; not even a dark flash.

But I did see a moving bullet from a right angle once, while driving a Jeep in northern Idaho – haven to a lot of Satanic Worshippers who liked to do truly evil stuff. For about a sixtieth of a second I clearly saw the broadside cross-section of the bullet come from my left side and skip off the windshield, cracking it. There wasn’t another car in sight. I believe it was a .30 caliber jacketed solid bullet because I was actually aware of seeing the nose of it and it was not a hollowpoint – I could see it well enough to discern that. I suspect that bullet had been fired from far, far away, and was traveling pretty slowly, relatively speaking, by the time it got to me. Had I been driving just a tiny, tiny bit faster in the Jeep, it would have come in through the side window and gone straight into my temple. The point is that very occasionally the human eye can catch freak spectacles, but not often.

A curious and fun thing you can do, however, is to not look crossways to a bullet leaving a rifle, but to look exactly in the direction the bullet will travel, especially through binoculars or a spotting scope. Have someone mount a gun on a set of sandbags or whatever, and point it at a target of your choosing – far away is best, like at least two hundred yards. Fire a few test rounds so the shooter can get the bullet to hit pretty close to where you’re expecting it to hit and not forty yards away. Make sure the sun is behind you so it illuminates the bullet. Now, get all settled in, comfortable, with your eye looking right down the barrel of the gun. Wear good, clear eye and ear protection so you’re not inclined to flinch when the gun fires because if you blink, this is all for nothing. When you’re ready, keep staring at the point where the bullet will impact the target. Then have the shooter fire. If the gun is shooting a slow bullet, like some old .45 handgun, traveling around 800 feet per second, you will actually see the bullet traveling through the air in about one out of four tries. As the speed of the bullet increases, as in the case of my .338 magnum, it gets more difficult to see the bullet fly – maybe one in ten. With an assault rifle shooting a bullet at maybe 4400 feet per second, chances are you might never see the bullet. A .338 round will travel the few hundred yards to the target in the briefest split second. We used to shoot at 1000 yards to increase our chances of seeing the bullet fly. It’s a kind of fun thing to do on a Saturday afternoon. But it illustrates how, if a really fast UFO goes from a dead stop to beyond-ludicrous-speed in a tenth of a second, well, it’s still moving from point A to point B, but you will swear that it just winked out. This seems all the more likely to me because I have watched video of supposed UFOs in which the saucer was just ambling along, maybe looking for girls to pick up, and this was recorded fine and well on a cheap video camcorder at about 30 frames per second, and then WHAM-BAM-SNIP – that sucker is GONE, and you’ll bet any amount of money it simply ceased to exist. But start zooming in on the video frame by frame when you play it back and you’ll sometimes find the UFO clear over in another part of the sky from one frame to the next, 1/30th of a second later.

Again, as we covered earlier, some folks, not the brightest bulbs in the string, will try to say this kind of acceleration is impossible for any living organism to survive because of the G forces involved. But remember, if gravity is being harnessed and manipulated, there will be no G forces at all. You could go from zero to a zillion and never spill the tea out of your cup while lounging in the saucer. I honestly don’t understand why people continue to try to use this argument against the existence of vehicles capable of interplanetary travel. Oh, yes, yes, I forgot – nothing can exceed light speed. But gravity is faster than light.